Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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