I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
