I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize