He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
