In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize