saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
