how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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