I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
