Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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