To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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