I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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