Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
