I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
