I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize