good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
