no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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