AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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