Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
