i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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