She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
