Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
