Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
