Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
