If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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