if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
