I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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