im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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