I bet he comes in French.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
