I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
