she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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