in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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