the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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