11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
