worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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