am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
