If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
