I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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