Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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