Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
