I wish my penis had an off switch
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
