Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
