OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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