I'm so fucking centered right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
