he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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