At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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