I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
