Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
