dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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