Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
