Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
