Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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