I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
kristin has been a bad kristin
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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