the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
