Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
