His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
