You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize