Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
