why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
BRING THE BAGELS
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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