Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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