i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
