gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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