halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
