You just made me feel so damn special
he thought i was a dude.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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