Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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