the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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