what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
