I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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