A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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