His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
