New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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