come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
