College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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