wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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