On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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