Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I FOUND THE LEGS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
