RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
