google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
you never un-have a 4some
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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