Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
